Divorced Veterans

Making the Invisible, Visible

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Posts Tagged ‘forgiveness’

The F word in divorce…

Posted by invisiblecounselor on March 22, 2012

I have been having this urge to write about forgiveness and the importance of taking back the power that we give to the person that we are holding a grudge against. Over time I have heard the word forgiveness used many, many, many times but I didn’t know how to apply it, how to “make it work.” I looked at forgiveness as a magic wand that would wipe the slate clean. A wand that would take away the hurt and the anger that was being held towards that person. Then I heard someone say, “they are not being affected by your refusal to forgive, you are.” I started to notice how much holding onto negative emotions will affect your daily living. Where you were once a happy, fun loving, and outgoing person, you’ve become distrustful, it’s become hard to have a good time, and pessimism becomes your best friend.

No, I don’t have a step-by-step on how to forgive, but I do know that once you start making small steps towards forgiving that person, you’ll notice a change in yourself. You will notice that where you once felt powerless, you are now empowered. Those buttons that were once so easily pushed are now, under your control. Whether you decide to let the person know that you forgive them, or decide that you forgive them in your heart, and just move on, either way, you now have power of your emotions while considering, during, or after your divorce.  In a blog post by Mandy Walker at www.sincemydivorce.com, she states “what Carlos says here is fundamental to being at peace with yourself after divorce. It’s not just about letting go of any resentment you feel towards your ex, it’s also about letting go of any resentment you feel towards yourself. It’s about accepting that divorce isn’t a failure.”

Take back that power to live the life you want to live, forgive, forgive, forgive.


A Micropublication on Forgiveness


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